what does she carry in her bag?

Crazy vegetable lady

All the fashion magazines and blogs like to ask the question: "what does ___ carrying in her bag?" Well, this Wednesday, this lady carried all of her groceries in her purse. I have no idea what came over me, but all I knew was I was not going home to get my reusable bags because it was freezing.

Unlike a starlet, I carry array of veggies that I put into stone soup and lemon juice.  I can only imagine what the people on the street thought, as I walked with a loaf of sourdough bread and celery sticking out of my bag...

Aren't you impressed that all of this fit into my bag?

P.S. Cliff Crunch bars  ---->
are like rays of honey sunshine that you can eat.  Let's just say I walked by the samples 4-5 times and knew I had to buy it.

wtf!

Prior to my departure to Korea, I decided to look up common Korean phrases.  I am not sure if this is a "common", but I am not familiar with "my hovercraft is full of eels." This must be from Korea. 

 내 호버크라프트는 장어로 가득 차 있어요
(Nae hoebuhkeurapeuteuneun changuhro kadeuk cha isseyo) 

Seriously? Maybe I will spend my flight memorizing this one phrase. Probably come in more useful in Busan, since it is by the beach. 

My latest guilty pleasure

I am really ashamed of this, but  I thought that I would share it anyway.  I am obsessed with this song (see below) by Enrique Iglesias, featuring Pitbull, song called "I like it." It is truly awful,  some of the worst lyrics I have ever heard (I don't condone cheating, in life and in music) and it is apparently going to be the theme song for the Jersey Shore (season 2), which should make me hate this song, but for some reason, I like it. Ugh, Enrique, why do you do this to me?



Could someone please also explain to me why Enrique needs to have auto-tune for his voice? He can actually sing, so he doesn't need it. But then again, I loved his mole and was very upset he removed it. Auto-tune = Enrique's mole. But oh well, good job Enrique,  I like it (the song, not the absence of your mole).

Funny Story

Horrifying stories of (lack) common sense-

Intern: [photocopy the backside of a paper] "why does it keep coming out blank?"

Yes, she was trained and no, she apparently cannot retain anything. I guess it could be worse, she could be breaking into the office with a credit card. Oh wait, that already happened with another intern.

Got Confidence? Got Geeky Stubbley appearance?

From my inbox to this blog post. Nerdy bearded men, like Aaron, are rejoicing everywhere from this article. I think it is pretty hilarious and Aaron's response was pretty great.  Comments like that are why I keep him around, not his geeky, hairy, soft/cuddly outer appearance. But that's just me.

Thanks, Jezebel.  

A little friday laughter

Kimmel: ""The best prank I ever pulled was I told a guy that five years from now, I'm going to give you my show, and then I gave it to him and took it back almost instantly...I think he works at Fox or something now."

Go Team Coco! Thank you, Conan, for introducing me to puppy dressed as cats. It really was the greatest thing I have ever seen.

Christmas discovery

This Christmas, I found a book of my grade school poetry about Christmas. It was most likely a school project that turned into a lovely gift for my mother or father since I never received allowance. Sorry, mom! You deserved better.  I was poor and not a writer. But, this gift is pure comedic gold.  It is obvious that I am not a writer and that my grammar sucks/ed. Both true today, but my penmanship has improved! My personality is written all over this book of Christmas poetry. Hilarious stuff.

I loved rereading some of this poetry, like Green and the other subject poetry that also made no sense, but provides good advice like "do not eat too much candy or else you will end up green."  This is not poetry, but a book of advice (and advice of how not to write poetry).   Luckly for you, dear reader, I decided to also share this other poetic gem to the left, which possessed my favorite line: " 'Now be careful with your money' said Mom" Haha, again this is not poetry but my mom's advice that she still shares with me to this day. Haha.  Nice try, childhood self.

This wrapping paper covered book is hilarious and I hope that you did not receive "gift[s that] aren't so exciting." Happy holidays, everyone! 

TGIF

It's Friday! Thank goodness b/c it has been a very long week for a 4-day work week. Thought I would share my joy for the weekend by sharing these cool dance moves. Get funky, Tennille!

Women's savior**

On Mon, Aug 3, 2009 at 10:07 PM, SMS wrote:

Bill Clinton to Travel to North Korea, Report Says -

what if they (the North Koreans) take Bill Clinton and steal him? do you think Hilary Clinton would be sad?

On Mon, Aug 3, 2009 at 10:11 PM, Work Spouse wrote:
no she would rejoice

Haha!

** Please note that I think it is unfair that Bill has to clean up this mess that these women created by being stupid and careless. He doesn't come and help me when I do something stupid. Is there a stupidity button?

P.S. Why are people entering hostile states lately? Bill should keep the plane warm b/c I imagine that he will be off to Iran next.

Hilarious

I just finished The Year of Living Biblically by A.J. Jacobs. I really enjoy his style of writing because it is very funny and can be very self-deprecating. I highly recommend his first book, The Know-It-All. I think I shared it with all of my friends, who also loved it. But, after finishing his last book, I decided to visit his website and blog and found this article from '07 that I needed to share.

My Life as a Hot Woman, Esquire, May, 2007 Enjoy!

I guess it is good that I finished Biblically, because Jacobs has a new book coming out on Sept. 8th. Also out on that date is Kathy Griffin's new book, Official Book Club Selection, which I am also tempted to read because I imagine it will be hilarious too.

Move over Susan Boyle.

Thanks, MJ, for the video!

Too bad Mari and I thought that the stamping image of "He" at the end of the video meant that the singer was a drag queen. Apparently, we don't know Hungarian. He = No/Denied (?).

Amusing article:

“I suspect that the enemies of this country do not wholly rely on The Mail on Sunday and Facebook for their information..." Sarah Lyall, 7-5-09 "On Facebook, a Spy Revealed (Pale Legs, Too)"

I hope not, although it would explain why terrorist hate America. Amusing article about a British spy, whose love of banana hammocks were exposed in a British Tabloid Newspapers thanks to Facebook. Good job, spy's wife. Hubby is probably not happy.

Hysterical

From Last night's Conan:



I miss old-school video games. The Wii and guitar hero are fun, but nothing beats Mario Brothers and Conan O’Brien. Plus, I suck at guitar hero.

Also, in old-school video game news - Happy Birthday, Tetris!

best thing I have read all day...err...week!

This interview with Zack Morris, aka Mark-Paul Gosselaar, is amazing. Kudos for the writer for revealing to Zack the discrepancy. I loved that he never realized the change in venue. Granted, he was young during "Good Morning, Miss Bliss." Hilarious! I will be laughing at this all day.

Mike: From what we saw happen on "Good Morning, Miss Bliss" to what it became the next season ["Saved By the Bell"], they went from Indiana to California. Three families [The Morrises, the Turtles and the the Powerses] and their principal [Mr. Belding] with no explanation.

Mark-Paul Gosselaar: Ohhhh, that's right! (pauses, then erupts in long laughter). Oh f---, Mike, that's pretty f---ing good. That totally went over my head. "Good Morning, Miss Bliss" took place in Indiana?

Mike: It did.

Mark-Paul Gosselaar: (Still laughing) Holy shit, it did! Why...

Mike: I would try to rationalize it by thinking that maybe the three parents worked for the same company and they all got transferred to California... But why would their old principal be there, too?

Mark-Paul Gosselaar: (Laughing) That is so funny. I have to say: You are the very first journalist to ever come up with that shit. Good on you, man.

So excited for a Save by the Bell Reunion in June. I miss that show.

This is how I feel about this upcoming holiday weekend:

Thanks, someecards for creating a card to express exactly how i feel.

Fine Journalism

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	M - Th 11p / 10c
Arizona State Snubs Obama
thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Economic Crisis Political Humor

"...Important people, heads of States and stuff like that."

This will keep me laughing forever. People are so dumb...I love President Hamilton.

Great email or greatest email, you decide!

"Bill thought he was the President, too"

So, true. Thanks, Jess!

amaZING!

Naughty naughty mommy.

WTF, right?

Thank you, Mari, for sharing this blog with me. It makes my day to see the awkwardness. I think we know who is going to get the coal in their stocking in this family. Check out - Awkward Family Photos. It is hilarious!

Tweet tweet

Saw this someecards tweet of this card for Mother's day. Hilarious!I love it!

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